From 2367a1a63ec2959b3d05cac3cb3d7bf13f5303cb Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: John Swinbank <swinbank@astron.nl>
Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2023 13:43:54 +0100
Subject: [PATCH] Respond to feedback from Matthias Fuessling

---
 contents/2-vision.tex       | 2 +-
 contents/3-delivered.tex    | 4 ++--
 contents/4-requirements.tex | 4 ++--
 contents/5-esfri.tex        | 8 ++++----
 4 files changed, 9 insertions(+), 9 deletions(-)

diff --git a/contents/2-vision.tex b/contents/2-vision.tex
index a063191..04fe1d8 100644
--- a/contents/2-vision.tex
+++ b/contents/2-vision.tex
@@ -211,7 +211,7 @@ That is, based on metadata sourced from the \gls{OSSR}, \pgls{ESAP} helps the us
 \begin{itemize}
 
 \item{software that is capable of processing the types of data stored in their shopping basket (\cref{sec:vision:capabilities:orch});}
-\item{software that is appropriate for the type of analysis they wish to perform (addressing particular science goals, capable of being executed in batch or interactive mode,etc);}
+\item{software that is appropriate for the type of analysis they wish to perform (addressing particular science goals, capable of being executed in batch or interactive mode, etc);}
 \item{services that are capable of executing the workflow or software package which the user has selected;}
 \item{services that are local to the storage location of bulk data, or which can instantiate efficient bulk data movement.}
 
diff --git a/contents/3-delivered.tex b/contents/3-delivered.tex
index cfb8eea..b1c21b3 100644
--- a/contents/3-delivered.tex
+++ b/contents/3-delivered.tex
@@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ In the future (see \cref{sec:future}), we hope to extend \pgls{ESAP} to offer mo
 \end{figure}
 
 Normally, archives are queried individually --- that is, the user selects which archive they are interested in and directs the query towards it.
-However, \pgls{ESAP} also provides a multi-archive query mode in which the user's query is forwarded to multiple archives simultaneously, with \gls{ESAP} taking care of translating the query into a form which is appropriate to each archive and merging the results to present tho the user in a unified form.
+However, \pgls{ESAP} also provides a multi-archive query mode in which the user's query is forwarded to multiple archives simultaneously, with \gls{ESAP} taking care of translating the query into a form which is appropriate to each archive and merging the results to present to the user in a unified form.
 This is illustrated in \cref{fig:esap:multiquery}.
 
 By default, queries are made synchronously: that is, when the user submits a query it is immediately forwarded to the appropriate archive (or archives) and the user interface is blocked until results are available.
@@ -153,7 +153,7 @@ Transmission in the other direction --- from \pgls{ESAP} to other applications -
 
 The list of available notebooks is drawn from the \gls{ESCAPE} \gls{OSSR}, and it may be augmented by local administrators through \gls{ESAP}'s configuration.
 The list is searchable and filterable to help the users identify notebooks that are relevant to their needs.
-Although \pgls{ESAP} as delivered does not support other software repositories, it would be a straightforward adaptation to extend search for software available from sources other than the \gls{OSSR}.
+Although \pgls{ESAP} as delivered does not support other software repositories, it would be a straightforward adaptation to extend this system to search for software available from sources other than the \gls{OSSR}.
 
 The available compute systems are defined in the \pgls{ESAP} configuration.
 It is expected that administrators of specific \gls{ESAP} instances will customize the listing to their particular needs.
diff --git a/contents/4-requirements.tex b/contents/4-requirements.tex
index 48f6a75..be9efb2 100644
--- a/contents/4-requirements.tex
+++ b/contents/4-requirements.tex
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 \label{sec:requirements}
 
 \gls{ESCAPE} deliverable \citetitle{ESCAPE-D5.2} \autocite{ESCAPE-D5.2} defines a series of functional requirements on the \pgls{ESAP} system.
-Not all of these requirements are met within the context of the funded \gls{ESCAPE} project; some required future development (\cref{sec:future}) and/or ongoing work by \glspl{ESFRI}.
+Not all of these requirements are met within the context of the funded \gls{ESCAPE} project; some require future development (\cref{sec:future}) and/or ongoing work by \glspl{ESFRI}.
 Nevertheless, this section summarizes the current progress towards meeting the requirements.
 
 \renewcommand{\arraystretch}{1.5}
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ Nevertheless, this section summarizes the current progress towards meeting the r
 \hline
 \endhead
 R-1 &
-Users should be able to get a list of available data, searchable by different criteria, including keyword, science domain, institute, datatype etc &
+Users should be able to get a list of available data, searchable by different criteria, including keyword, science domain, institute, datatype etc. &
 This capability is provided by the Data Discovery system described in \cref{sec:delivered:data}.
 \\
 
diff --git a/contents/5-esfri.tex b/contents/5-esfri.tex
index 3e69d38..b7566ed 100644
--- a/contents/5-esfri.tex
+++ b/contents/5-esfri.tex
@@ -78,11 +78,11 @@ The \gls{ESAP} batch system has therefore been designed to address the use cases
 \gls{CTAO} anticipates running a \emph{science data challenge} as a way to engage the scientific community with the Observatory's development effort.
 Their team is currently exploring the potential for \gls{ESAP} to play a role in such a challenge.
 In particular, in support of this, they have developed a way of deploying \gls{ESAP} within a future \gls{CTAO} data centre using the Kubernetes\footnote{\url{https://kubernetes.io}} container orchestration system.
-Further, they have developed a series of customizations of the \gls{ESAP} core, providing:
+Further, they have developed a series of exploratory customizations of the \gls{ESAP} core, providing:
 
 \begin{itemize}
 
-\item{GitHub\footnote{\url{https://github.com}}-based user authentication;}
+\item{The capability to use GitHub\footnote{\url{https://github.com}}-based user authentication;}
 \item{Additional batch and interactive workflows;}
 \item{Advanced workflow search options and improved use of metadata.}
 
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ Further, they have developed a series of customizations of the \gls{ESAP} core,
 
 Some of these changes have already been fed back to the \gls{ESAP} core distribution.
 
-As part of this work, the \gls{CTAO} team identify the lack of persistent analysis environments within \gls{ESAP} as a significant challenge.
+As part of this work, the \gls{CTAO} team identified the lack of persistent analysis environments within \gls{ESAP} as a significant challenge.
 This is a potential topic for future development, which is discussed in \cref{sec:future:persistent}.
 
 \subsubsection{Conclusions}
@@ -116,7 +116,7 @@ The Australian site will house 131,072 antennas sensitive in the range 30--350\,
 Test systems are already taking data, and the facility is expected to be operational by the end of this decade.
 
 The \gls{SKAO} is designed to conduct transformational science, breaking new ground in astronomical observations.
-The telescope has been designed to address a wide range of key science goals, from testing Einstein’s theory of relativity, through understanding the nature of dark energy and cosmic magnetism, to investigating the origins of life itself.
+The observatory has been designed to address a wide range of key science goals, from testing Einstein’s theory of relativity, through understanding the nature of dark energy and cosmic magnetism, to investigating the origins of life itself.
 
 The observatory is being designed to operate for fifty years, so a flexible and extensible system is essential.
 
-- 
GitLab